“Put on my raving shoes and I boarded a plane…” Mixmag names the worst dance records of all time… [April 1998]

For every Strings of Life or Voodoo Ray, there’s a barrel-load of techno turkeys polluting the pop charts, and back in April 1998, Mixmag journalists Neil Stevenson and Alexis Petridis set out to determine the worst dance music monstrosities ever committed to wax.

While the EDM scene (which no doubt would contribute a smattering of tracks if such a list was compiled today) was still a few years away, the late 90s was permeated with the dregs of the Eurodance movement, ‘rave’ versions of popular pop hits, and novelty records so inane they…